Sarah: "Did you just call me 'Missy?'"
Alex D: "Give me a break--I'm wearing cowboy boots."

Alex D: "Britney Spears makes many people increase their length by two inches."

Tara: “As an FYI, my preferred method of communication with you all is the bullet point method. If you can't break it down into bullet points, try again!”

Sarah (sniffing the air): “Did something die in the QA pit?”
Alex D: “Yes. Our hopes and dreams...”

Ricardo: “Damn dude, you're in a bad mood today. You're like a Sith Lord.”
Kent: “Yeah, Darth Mullet.”

Harvey: “If one of you guys dies on Christmas vacation, who will we make fun of?”
Steve: “The dead one.” Chris: “We can't have guards walking up to dead cats and saying, ‘Here, kitty-kitty...'”

Wolfy (poster on PlanetDeusEx after seeing a photo of Warren in a GameSpy interview):"THAT'S Warren Spector????? With such a cool name, I expected him to look like JC, at least!"

Warren: “I have some hand lotion in my office if you want to use some.” Kent (Playing Quake 3): “Damn, dude. I just got railed like a porn star.”

Steve: “Did Harvey ever give you those Rifts books?”
Monte: “No, he gave them to Goodwill.”
Steve: “That sucks.”
Monte: “The funny thing about that is that Harvey has absolutely no f*cking good will.”

Tara: “When can get you me that schedule update?”
Whitney: “Maybe tonight, I'll probably kick back with a bottle of wine and work on it.”

Steve: “You guys only know the pretentious Harvey. I know a different Harvey, the Harvey that will eat a donut off the f*cking floor.”

Greg: “There's just not much you can do with a black glove...” Harvey: “On his knees, Alex almost looks like a normal person.”

Kent: “The cowbell is the mullet of modern music.”
Harvey: “Such an obvious attempt to get into the quote file will never work”

Ricardo: “Dude, I'm the Bathroom Bodysnatcher.”

Sheldon: “We can't let ourselves get eaten alive by the capitalist uroboros.”

(While playing a card game)
Paul: Are you saying you're god?
Brian: Floods can't stop god. They didn't stop Noah and they won't stop me.
Paul: Buddy, I knew Noah, and you're no Noah.

Warren: Oh I get it, that's irony.
Alex D.: Maybe, but the point was humor. Humor is the destination. Irony is merely the road.

Alex D.: Suddenly, I have this disturbing mental picture of two men from the Philippines, dressed up as candy machines, with large silicone breasts glued to the front, wailing on each other while belting out "My Way."

Dave Reese: “People always want to rewrite and overdo everything because we are geeks and we like that sh*t.”

Sarah: “I want to know why we have a tag called Plus Death Death.”

Warren: “I'm like a foam rubber hammer...and Doug makes me look rigid.”