Kent: “But if you REQUIRE the player to roll for this spell, then you're discriminating against players with no hands. Or against players who cannot afford dice.”
Harvey: “If you ever have no hands, I am going to laugh at you.”

Harvey (to Monte): “How many months of therapy could you buy with the money it'll cost to have all your f*cking teeth pulled out?”

Monte: “Speaking of hypocrites, where's Ricardo?”

Monte: “Back me up if I'm saying something wrong.”

Sheldon: “My one ambition is to become a stay-at-home dad. With a nanny.”

Ricardo: "I was here at 8:45 this morning."
Harvey: "I was working out then."
Ricardo: "That's not working."
Harvey: "But working out makes me a better worker, so I should get paid for it."
Kent: "Dude, you can abstract that out to any activity in your life."
Harvey: "Man, if I could just get paid for having sex, b/c it makes me a better worker, ."
Kent: "What, instead of having to pay for sex?"

Alex: “Has anyone seen Jay around?”
Kent: “If you cant find him, just drop a penny.” Tara: “I'm going to have to get drunk just to sleep there...”

Harvey: “That's just lame, rude and unprofessional.”
Warren: “I can't argue with that, but it's just a fact that "Lame" and "Human" often go hand-in-hand. Or am I just too cynical?”
Harvey: “We have to strike a balance between empathizing with the flawed human natures of the people around us and kicking these slugs in the ass until they do their jobs.”

Kent: “Hey, man, how's your leg? Your hamstring feeling okay?”
Stan: “It's pretty much better, though I still can't bend over like I usually do.”

John H.: “Jason's Deli can't do vegetarian. I always either get bacon or a raw unwashed carrot shoved in a bun.”

Nate: “As long as a woman isn't cleaning the urinal I'm peeing into, I'm fine with that.”

Doug: “That is an unfortunate portal selection by our friend the automatic portal generator. A 4.2 from the East German judge..."

Alex C.: “Jeremy, why do you have that funny smile on your face?”
Jeremy: “I'm trying to break the silence.”

After marketing presented a 3 point plan with 14 points
Bill: “Woo...3 points boiled down to 14 points, People remember things in 14's. :)”

Alex D: “Oh turret, we loved thee so,
But thy gun did fire too slow,
And thy physics it sank too low.
So, dear turret, you've got to go.”