John Talley: “What happened to that model?!”
Whitney: “God rolled the dice and we lost.”

Kent: “Which side of the street has the odd-numbered addresses?”
Ricardo: “The odd numbers are always on the left side of the street.”
Kent: “What if you're driving the other way down the street?”
Ricardo: “Ummmm...” Bill: “You should have seen my niece, man. She was wearing these tight pants, she bent over and you could see her thong.”
Kent: “Man, she's your NIECE!”
Bill: “Yeah, but I'm from Alabama.”

Bill: “Scheduling a Movie stuff were the top things on my list for the rest of the week.”
Harvey: “That and butchering the English language.”

Sarah: “Dead people make me horny.”

Chris: “Next week we will have UI virgins...”

Stan: “Next week, we have Blue Oyster Cult playing in Dallas.”
Kent: “I take it you're going?”
Stan: “Is a pig's ass pork? Of course I'm going!”

Monte: “Does Long John Silver's have any food that isn't fried?”
Kent: “Dude, you can't even get a SOFT DRINK that isn't fried at LJS.”

Jeremy: “Dude, you should get a, like, bio computer. It's a computer, but it's like,uh...f*ckin' bio. You feed it nutrients and sh*t.”

Sarah: “How did we get from ‘crizzie-crotch and don't have no boobies' to ‘biomod substrate maintains the telomere length of a cell's chromosomes' in the same conversation?!” Monte (discussing Morrowind): "The thing that I hated the most was that I spent all my time looking for plants for some lady. It's bad enough I have to do that in real life with rosemary (to make tea).”
Jim: "You actually go out and pick the stuff or you have your own garden?"
Monte: "No, I get it at Whole Foods, but that's a quest in itself."

Dave: “That's because the nerds melt in sunlight.”

Harvey: “Are you guys too worn out, or do you want to do Ricardo too?”

Harvey: “All I know is that I get a better workout in a gay gym.”

Harvey: “If you're working late, we can order crunch food...”
Sarah: “Can we order crunch methamphetamines?” Greg: "Man, I saw the Executioners (hip-hop group) on some show and they had their band way in the back where you couldn't see them. All you could see were these three guys up front, waving their arms with microphones...at least give them a tangerine or something!"

Whitney: “Okay, let's go ahead and make that 12.”
Jeremy: “Twizzie-twelve?”
Whitney: “No. Just twelve.” Doug: “Currently, Ted is working on three of the top five of the top ten list.”

Sheldon: “Thanks for the speedy turnaround on those characters.”
Kent: “Ogburn is my middle name. But if my parents had had any f—king foresight, it would have been ‘Speedy Turnaround.'”

Paul: "I want to grab the giant squid by his root and point him at the player."

Monte: “Oh, and guess who invented the black market augs?”
Kent: “Oh, you invented those?”
Monte: “Yeah. I'm not necessarily saying that I invented the black market itself though...”

Jeremy (after getting a haircut): You should have seen the amount of hair that surrounded my barber chair--it looked like 3 or 4 large gerbils exploded...

Monte: “That's totally out of kilter.”

Sarah: “Tong is ageless and timeless...like elegant wood paneling.”

Sarah: “The demo awareness biomod...is that the mod that gives us foreknowledge of when Eidos is going to demand demos?”